IT'S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE!!!
Sigh. Do you remember Derek and Seth? Yeah. It's about them.
Well, for one... they made up. Thank God. So frigging happy about that.
But, you see NOW, they're kinda in a front on rivalry. I don't know. Like, Derek is showing signs that he likes me... but I don't know. I don't think so. He's confusing the crap out of me. D:
And well, you guys know that Seth likes me.
Let me explain.
On Saturday, my friend had his birthday party. He's best friends with Derek. So, he was there. That day was eventful. -_-
Okay... for the first half of the party... I was with Estelle. But later on... He started cuddling me. Like, we were sitting on the stairs and he was hugging me from behind and just embracing me. There's more but... I really don't feel like elaborating.
We were also in my friend's room because he had aircon and it's like FRIGGING HOT. So, I stayed there. I was lying down on his bed.... and Derek wrapped his arms around me. So, he kinda held me while we were lying down. Mind you, that is it and nothing else happened. [Just pointing that out for all those wrong minded people out there]
I just can't tell whether he likes me or whether that was out of impulse. :S
Sigh... why didn't I stop it? Several reasons.
- I don't have it in me to push him away. I don't want to hurt his feelings.
- He's too strong.
- And... [I feel really guilty for saying this] I liked it. I've always wanted someone to hold me like he did.
So yes. After what happened on Saturday, he's been paying a lot of attention to me in school.
NOW, let's move it over to Seth. I told him about what happened on Saturday between me and Derek. He's my best friend... and I tell him everything.
But, on Monday... when we got back to school... We both came to school early. And while we were hanging out... he kissed me.
Which is really surprising... because the guy's a chicken.
So yes. It's scary. I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED!!!!
It really doesn't help when my friends are constantly teasing me etc. :S
Furthermore, Derek spoke to me privately today. We cleared some stuff too. Like, about his disappearing act and all.
And Seth looked so sad today. I honestly thought that its because I pay too much attention to Derek.
But it's his fault that he doesn't put enough effort. Rawr. That sounds really horrible.
So yes. I am confused.
But this is what I'm planning to do. I plan to not to do anything or consider anything until I graduate. I need to focus on my studies.
I want them both to have a fair fight. [That is if Derek likes me] I will consider it when I graduate [Well, that is if they last that long... which I honestly think, they wont. ^-^]
So that's an update of my confusing and frustrating life.
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